The Book of BLEH!

1) UpChuck said "Yes!", Tina said "lets,"
2) UpChuck said "stop!", Ebbers said "go."
3) So they did.
4) At the gate, Tina pondered.
5) "He is no nobility."
6) Ebeneezer Squeezer turned back and spoke in a voice that glistened like scales.
7) "Demon Chuck! Nevermore shall you be high enough to be called Up!
8) You have shown immense and willful disrespect for The Holy Vegetable! You have offended Tina beyond measure!
9) Henceforth, thou shalt become Rent-a-cop. Forever to unlock doors for discochicks!
10) Forever to watch the garden only after the bud is bonged!
11) To caress and harass shoplifters at Safeway until the last pound of hamburger rots behind the last case of Malt-O-Meal!"
12) So sayeth Ebeneezer! So sayeth Tina!